Well, I love Guatemala.
I love the people.
I love the culture and the colors.
I love the doors on every single home.
I love the tiny convenient stores and cobblestone roads.
I love the coffee and traditional, homemade Mayan outfits.
I’m even in love with living with 18 other people and the packed “chicken buses” (However, I do miss my daddy, clean water, my own bathroom, and washing machines more than I ever imagined).
Today we went to a new church. It was all in Spanish and I didn’t expect much of anything from God out of the sermon. I keep doing that…not expecting God to show up and then He blows my mind. As I was singing out words I barely understood my heart started to overflow like it has only two other times in my life. We sang “Como nos ama Dios” over and over (In English this translates to “How God loves us”). As my eyes filled with tears and my heart praised my Heavenly Father, I realized a completely new meaning behind worship.
He doesn’t care if I know what I’m saying. He doesn’t care if I’m sitting, standing, singing, dancing, loving, hugging, or just talking…He just wants me. How freeing is that?
I’ve been struggling with our random ministry assignments and wondering where God was and why He wasn’t using me more than He already was. I mean, I’m in this country to help and to serve, but yet I’ve hardly had a chance to do much good for anyone other than myself. He keeps giving me all these good words and visions and He just taught me a brand new way of worshipping Him, but yet I feel as if nothing has changed for this country or any of the precious people who live here. I’ve been feeling so guilty. So today as I was fighting Jesus from loving on me, I realized what He’s been trying to do all along. He really does want to make His kingdom larger and He does want the hungry to be fed and the naked to be clothed, but He wants me just as much.
So, I’m not sure what this week will look like. I don’t know what ministry I will be working with or if I will even be able to share my faith with anyone, but the words “You are precious in His sight” keep running through my head. I don’t know if I’ll be able to accomplish much of anything until I let Him fully take over my heart.
For now that’s all I know to do…love Him and embrace the love He’s had for me all along.
