The past four days of training have been a lot harder than I thought they would be. I, by no means, prepared myself mentally for the reality that I won't be coming home until December. I thought I knew what I was getting myself into, but I never realized how hard it would be. I have been feeling overwhelmed, homesick, and alone. I have a great team of 21 college students and two leaders who all have their own unique qualities and are all wonderful. But at the same time, I don't have that mom that can comfort me with a hug, or that best friend who I can talk about anything to.
Training camp has been long and exhausting; it has broken me. But in order to be who God wants me to be, I needed to be broken. I needed to deal with things that were hurting me. I needed to open up and talk about my struggles. It's a process, and slowly but surely I can see a glimmer of light. I can see why God is putting me through this. I know He wants me on this trip, and I know he has huge plans for my life. I just need to trust him completely, something that I now realized, I haven't been doing.
Now in saying all that, there are parts of training camp that I have loved. It gave me time to bond with my teammates, compete in a dance-off (which Guatemala won!), talk to homeless people in the streets of Atlanta, and worship. Tomorrow morning we leave for Guatemala and I am so excited to finally be there and bond more with the wonderful people on my team.
It is so easy for me to become overwhelmed in this process, and I pray that I am not overcome by that feeling. Please continue to pray for God to give me the comfort, peace, and strength I need. Thanks for all the support you have already given me. I feel so loved, and I think that is part of the reason why it is so hard for me to leave.
PS- While in Guatemala, I will be able to get on the internet once a week and blog and email, so you should hear from me again within a week or so.
